Monday, August 29, 2011

Insomnia Be a Cruel, Cold and Calculating Bitch.

So, I am supposed to be waking up at 8:30 this morning. Well, it's 5AM and I have yet to doze off. I've tried several times.

When I say "several times," I mean most people probably would have killed themselves by this point.

Here's what's going to happen here. I'm going to complain and bitch about stuff and hopefully it will wind up being funny, as I was reading my last few blogs and realizing that they actually weren't that funny (herein begineth the bitching), and this is mostly because I sat down and was like "I'm going to write about something that is indeed the essence of hilarity."


Here's what actually happened: *panics and vomits on the keyboard with such force that words happen*

So, it appears that today I will be existing solely through the almighty power of Five Hour Energy. This is a habit that I developed last semester, so why the hell wouldn't I continue it during this one? I figure I'll down it as soon as I get on the bus from the stadium parking lot.

...So you guys remember that 365 photo thing I was supposed to be doing? Well, I abandoned posting on here every day around like day 3, and then I abandoned actually doing the whole bloody goddamned thing at day 29.

Sigh, this post is turning out to be a miserable failure. I would probably be funnier if I started talking about giant babies spewing fireballs at squirrels or some random and contrived thing like that.

Well, I have a couple of other actually cohesive blog ideas that I could be working on I guess. I suppose I'll go and put those into gear instead of continuing to vomit boring all over the collective screen of the internet.

If you'd like, you can imagine me disappearing in a puff of smoke, or turning into a swarm of palm-sized gnomes or something.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Car Trouble

I found this blog while rifling through my drafts. It's from a month or two ago. 

So, my friend...must think of name...Dina? Sure. Dina.

So my friend Dina was over last night. It was pretty epic.

First my truck ran out of gas on the highway and we had to eat the food we had picked up from that Vietnamese place in the Kyle Parkway while we were waiting for my uncle to bring us a gas can because the smell was causing our stomachs to make noises similar to some sort of hog-beast.

And then when my uncle finally arrived, I could totally tell he was trying to determine in his mind if Dina and I were fucking or not (we're not, we're like siblings, it would be incestuous.)

It went on like this forever. I tried to make it less awkward by telling Dina about that time my uncle had to pull another friend of mine's car out of the ditch by our house...but it just lapsed into more silence as my uncle failed to make the gas can work for like fifteen minutes. Eventually he got it to work, and I was absolutely certain that my uncle had determined that Dina and I were fucking. It was mortifying.

After that we got to my house with a couple of bags of candy and some sugary beverages we had picked up at the Sac N Pac that was in our path on the way home.

At this point we kind of plopped down on my bed/couch and put South Park on Netflix while eating our candy.

Suddenly, Dina's eyes lit up with wonder and amusement, and this creepy smile cracked across her face.

And then the following  photographs were born:

After we finished with all that we started throwing Gummybears at each other's mouths, trying to get them inside...and then we incorporated Sourpatch Kids later.

Monday, August 22, 2011

Hair Cut and Coming Up With Topics is Hard

So, I cut off most of my hair last night. It was pretty brutal.

This is a super fail attempt at illustrating what I am now working with, after having my grandma clean up the huge mess I made

I really thought I would be able to stretch that into a full blown post, but I really can't.
Honestly, the reason I haven't been posting that often is because I often find myself sitting in front of the "new post" page trying to think of something to post.

Honestly, I feel like I'm under tremendous pressure to keep my readers (all 3 of you) satisfied with my ramblings and whimsical drawings.

Holy crap!

I just had an idea! Another post will follow this one! ...!!!111ONE111!!!!ELEVENTYONE

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Stefan and Music (Stefan Uses MS Paint Rather Than Photoshop This Time, Just For Kicks)

The world of "mainstream" music and I have a very interesting relationship.

Once, not too long ago, my friend challenged me to play a game in which we would go through his infinite playlist of super mainstream songs. I lost this game. I was then informed that I would be able to redeem myself with the next song because it was "beyond mainstream", which apparently meant that children in third world countries knew about it.

Please view the following example, brought to you from Thirdworldia, followed by an example of my reaction, and then commence empathizing with my overwhelming sense of being surrounded by bullshit.

Allow me to elaborate. Little children in third world countries knowing about a song that came out of Non-Thirdworldia makes it very mainstream, not "beyond mainstream".

Listen, people. Literally every "mainstream" title I have in my music library came from me being stranded in my truck (or a room of people) without my ipod, and suddenly hearing something on the radio that produced this reaction:
As you can imagine, I would like more of this amazing and strange feeling, so I then set out on a quest to find the song and download it.
Then I proceed to listen to the song to the point where I hear it in my sleep, and mutter the lyrics during every waking hour, and bring it up in conversation. Sometimes I even ruin the song for my friends.
But...that only happened like once.

But yes. A very strange relationship indeed.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

High School is, Indeed, a Lower Plane of Existence

Sometimes I feel like one's first day of college and/or enacting one's after-high-school plans for life is like some sort of crossing over into a higher plane of existence.

By that I mean that when one hears about high school issues after said crossing over, one views them with a sort of sardonic apathy.

When I was in high school, the classes directly above and below my class were ridiculously close to each other. It is because of this that I still have a lot of friends who are still in high school. I made friends with their friends, and of course those friends wanted me to meet their friends. So now here I am, a sophomore in college who has friends who are sophomores in high school (I prefer to refrain from using emoticons in my blogs, however there is only one way to put this, and that is "-_-").

My friends who are still in high school often talk shit about my other friends who are in high school, because I am friends with people in the Theatre department, and at Hays High, Theatre students don't fucking leave.

I don't know how the Theatre department was at your high school, but at mine, we were all best friends on the surface, but really there were cliques within our clique, and not only were all the cliques out to take each other down, the people within these infraclique cliques were always either plotting to stab each other in the back or fuck each other.

This system has persisted after my graduation, and as such, I am often confronted with my friends talking shit about my other friends when I happen to be hanging around the friends that have yet to cross over the rift.

I will now provide an example of this experience from both perspectives, since I have lived both.

High School perspective:
My perspective:

I'm sure that most everyone who's graduated high school understands this. Hell, I even know people in high school who have something of a grasp on this.

My crossing of the Great Educational Rift (or GER, as it will now be referred to) was indeed a welcome event.

Sometimes, however, I feel myself relapsing.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

P365 Day 3 and also venting about rage

I'm basically going to post a slightly altered version of what I said about the facebook picture, and then I will rant about things that beckon forth hate from my soul because RAGE.
Day 3
-Southpark Meadows with some friends.
-Gay Best Friend and I split off from the group and went bracelet shopping. The day was filled with trying on clothes, Gattitown and Taco bell (pronounced t'COH-bell.)
-This is not the outfit I wore most of the day. It's more like the one I wish I had been wearing. I found my scrunchy face quite amusing.

Now, on to the real post:

Venting About Rage

Hate Focus 1: Exes that don't leave you alone

...will add more later

Added 2 hours ago ·  · 

Stefan Plays Frisbee Golf- P365 day 2

Day 2
I was randomly invited to play Frisbee Golf at in the morning. I learned that I do not know my friend's little brother well enough to hold a conversation with him, despite having known him for several years, which would have not been that big a deal if we weren't on a team. I also learned that  Jeans make me unable to do things athletically, and that I have no idea how to interact with my friend's older friend who apparently does nothing but play Frisbee Golf and earn money by CAD drafting....I honestly can't imagine how he managed to meet my friend, either...

Friend and Friend's Friend chasing frisbees. Note Friend's Friend's man purse. It is made specifically for carrying frisbees.... Then again I just put mine in my bag and got my camera and phone all muddy...

My can't tell, but it didn't land very far from the starting place thing that I threw it from...:(
That thing waaaaay off in the distance is the goal. I did not make it. :(
Friend's Friend. Also I believe that's my frisbee right there not too far away from the goal. It was actually a decent throw, apparently, but you wouldn't know it from how everyone kept saying "good throw" in that way that people who are unacquainted but want to be encouraging to the obvious failure as well as polite. I know his intentions were good, but I feel like Sir Frisbee-Drafter could have tried to engage me a little more socially.

That is my frisbee in the fucking basket. As far as frisbee golf, my life is complete and I can now die in regard to frisbee golf. I actually said that in front of Friend, and we had this needlessly complicated conversation about how to die in regard to such a specific aspect of life. We determined that you would stop acknowledging its existence and pretend like your friends who "believed in it" were completely insane. Seriously though, I was really fucking excited. I felt that I had accomplished something for the day. :D

I think this was supposed to be a shot of my frisbee, which failed into the bushes. You can probably see it if you click the picture.
Friend. He was prompted to "act like he was throwing a frisbee"...and this is what he came up with. So the official caption is: "Friend fails at following photo prompts."

This is friend in the throes of actually throwing a frisbee. Shortly after this we went to Chick-Fil-A, where I learned the joys of eating breakfast at a real Chick-Fil-A and not just a shittastic college campus Chick-Fil-A. They have this wonderful thing called a "Chicken, Egg and Cheese Bagel"'s made of sin...and is possibly the best thing I've eaten for breakfast since...well, I don't know about that. But I enjoyed it. It was a very good day over all and I will probably be playing Frisbee Golf again, but I hope to do it with people I can hold a conversation with. Possibly with Friend and Gay Best Friend.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011


To my like...3 readers: I've decided that to get me into the habit of posting, writing, and generally getting my lazy ass out of bed every day, I'm going to do this thing called Project 365. Many of your friends have probably done/are doing some version of this project (I know tons of mine are), and all information on the version I will be using can be found here.

Basically you take one photo a day...and then awesome things happen. I will also be doing this on Facebook, where I will be writing short descriptions of the day. On here I will attempt to include actual blog posts, no matter how relevant they are to the actual picture. So my question is: WILL YOU COME WITH ME ON THIS ADVENTURE!? Well, since I have, like I said before, only 3-ish confirmed readers, all of whom I know in person, I'm assuming they will be following along to be supportive, no matter how drab they find my rantings about life.

The first photo will be added shortly.


This is the one that I ended up posting on facebook for day 1. I chose it because it illustrates the fundamental problem that I have with photography. When I get myself to actually look good for a potential shot, I end up fucking up the actual shot, which makes everything all fuzzy or bad in some other way. 
So basically here is what happened today and a bit of yesterday: My hair has been relayered, and my super awesome, gay friend whose name shall be changed to Cameron for the purposes of this blog got to see the debut of it...of course yesterday it looked horrible because I neglected to blowdry it, but it looks good today I guess. Today I started this photo thing, and then also my grandfather had me fix a computer problem which I am convinced didn't really exist. I'm pretty sure that what actually happened was that he freaked out because a button was a different color or something and called tech support, and then he had no idea what they were talking about, so nothing could be done until someone who understood complicated technobabble such as "start button" and "mouse" and "web browser" was summoned. Currently I'm listening to Girlfriend by Avril Lavigne and contemplating what I should do today. I should be working on the show I'm supposed to have done by the fall. I'm also hungry...perhaps I should get food. 

Here are some of the other candidates for Project 365: Day 1
Here's me trying to do another mirror shot while actually looking at the camera, however it makes me look like I've just been outed as having really smelly feet or having slept with some damnably gross person. 

This one did not make the cut because my hair decided to make me look like I was dreadfully pissed off. I was not, hair. Stop lying to the camera.

I don't know, my face looks weird in this one I think.

I mostly look penniless and dead in this one...

Same problem with the shot-fuzz problem, also I look like I'm about to eat the photographer, and since I took this picture I am not really down with this prospect.

Once again, my face looks weird.

This shot is so blurry that you can barely tell what's happening here! :(